You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
