Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
