I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize