Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
