he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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