whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
