Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
