well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
