Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
