my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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