its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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