I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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