you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
