I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
