It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
