We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
