just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
