OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
