im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize