her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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