is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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