On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
