I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
