I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
