honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Actions speak louder than pants.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
