It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
