Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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