I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm too high and old for this...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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