Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
