she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
