My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just had sex on a roof
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize