Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
