I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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