I'm jealous of your bromance
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
