belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
