we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
