You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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