She's JV to your varsity
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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