I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
