Nicole vs. Life
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
