Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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