Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
