Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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