Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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