I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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