let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
