I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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