I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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