i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
