I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
