I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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