How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
