I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
