I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
