Don't you send me to vm
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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