yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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