If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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