the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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